Musing of one thinking about the extraordinarily beautiful Iowa girl who, on a visit to Southern California, started across the street at Hollywood

and Vine, created a monstrous traffic jam and got a ticket for obstructing traffic...

The following is just a story. It has no particular moral or point. It is simply a bit of history provided for the edification of young people who may not be knowledgeable about the 1930s and the Great Depression.

One night in the mid-1930s, when our family lived in Alta Dena, California, my brother and I decided to drive over to Hollywood. So we borrowed the family car (at that time, very few families owned 2 cars and many families didn't own a car at all) and set out for TinselTown. A little while later, we were driving through the Los Feliz district when we came to a four-way stop.

At this point I should describe the milieu in which drivers operated in those days. There were no left turn lanes, and automobiles did not have any directional signals. A driver signified his intention by sticking his left arm out the window and pointing it in a certain direction. Straight up meant right turn, straight out (horizontal) meant left turn, straight down meant stop. If the arm pointed at 45 degrees, everybody had to guess. Left turns were made from the regular lanes. In this case all 4 streets comprising the intersection were all 4 lanes, so left turns were to be made from the inside lane.

Traffic was fairly heavy and when we arrived at the stop sign, a number of other cars arrived at the same time from the other streets. For some reason, nobody noticed the forest of arms sticking straight out the windows. By coincidence, all the cars in the left hand lanes started at once to make their left turns, and all arrived smack in the middle of the intersection and got stuck there.

At this point, I should note that Los Angeles drivers always had a propensity for following as close as possible on the bumper of the car in front and not yielding to anything unless it had a red light and siren (there were no flashing red lights, the emergency lights were simply bigger).

Anyhow, of course all lanes in the intersection became blocked and there we sat. Some people got out of their cars and looked around and I imagine the atmosphere was permeated with various expletives. I also imagine people walking on the sidewalk were doubled over with laughter. Eventually the police came and untangled us and we all proceeded on our merry (?) ways.

In view of the vastly greater number of vehicles on the road today, it is a good thing that traffic control has kept up fairly well. We have left-turn lanes, directional signals on cars, computerized traffic signals, GPS, etc. So that's a good thing.

However, in spite of all this, we haven't solved the problem of traffic jams.

And so one of the frustrations of driving is still with us.

Musing of one thinking about the guy hiking through the backwoods of the Pacific Northwest who encountered Bigfoot, challenged him to a game of...

...hopscotch and lost.

A Fable
One bright Saturday, when Congress had adjourned for the weekend, two Congressmen were sitting in a bar trying to decide what to do for the day. One of them said, "let's go down to the river and rent a boat and paddle down a ways and back." The other guy said, "good idea." So they went to the river, found a boat rental place, and rented a canoe. Since they were both big city boys, neither one of them knew how to paddle a canoe. So the owner gave them a rudimentary lesson, then shoved the canoe out into the current. They were paddling away when a piece of floating debris hit the paddle of the one in the bow, knocking it from his grasp. It floated away and the one in the stern paddled furiously trying to keep up with it. However, as a novice, he kept paddling on one side of the canoe, with the result that it went in circles. Shortly afterwards, his hands got so sweaty that his paddle slipped from his grasp to go find the other one. They drifted helplessly down the river until it disgorged them in a small branch of the river that went off to somewhere. They drifted down the branch until the canoe struck a sunken log and lodged there. One of them said, "Here we are...up a creek without a paddle. What do we do now?" The other one happened to glance towards the shore and saw an elderly man standing there. "Hey Pops," he yelled, "could you help us figure out how to get to shore?" The elderly man said, "Well, if I were you, I'd wade because it's only 2 feet deep. But I would take off my shoes and trousers first." So they removed all their clothing below the waist, rolled it into a ball, and managed to fall out of the canoe and wade to land. The elderly man led them to a clearing where the sun was shining brightly so they could dry off. After they dressed, he took them to his car, which was only a couple hundred yards away, and drove them back to the boat place. He refused any kind of payment, and drove off after giving them a parting admonition, "when you don't know what you're doing, sometimes it's wise not to do it." They paid the boat owner for the lost paddles plus the cost of retrieving the canoe and headed back to the city.

The next week when Congress was in session again, they introduced a bill requiring every rental boat to be equipped with an extra set of oars or paddles plus a battery-driven flashing red light as an emergency signal.

The bill passed 433-2. The 2 nay votes were from 2 Congressmen who happen to own interest in boat rental businesses.

The moral of this fable is in the mind of the reader.

Musing of one watching a guy who's girlfriend has just dumped him in favor of his identical twin brother.

A sort of semi-fable.

The movement variously known as Unoccupy Wall Street. Occupy Wall Street, the other 99%, etc. seems to have become somewhat quiescent lately. I was recalling interviews with various people in the different groups and the only goals I could come up with were: stop corporate greed, tax the wealthiest 1%, provide a better life, and the like. In one case the person didn't seem to know what the goal was.

Anyway, assuming for fun that the government puts a surtax on the wealthiest 1% what would happen? Well, there are some alternatives:

1. The government could take the extra money collected (if it could figure out how much it was) and distribute it pro rata among the other 300 plus million of us. This would be highly unlikely.

2. A more likely scenario - the government would use the money in trying to balance the annual operating budget. The other 99% would never know the difference.

As Julius Caesar once observed to me, "Sic transit gloria mundi". Freely translated - "That's the way the cookie crumbles."

Oh well.

Musing of one watching a fleeing felon who ducked into a convenient door, found himself in the middle of a women's group discussing spousal abuse and

in 30 seconds begged to be turned over to the police...
After watching the demonstrators clammering about Wall Street and sundry other villains, I've come to the following conclusions:
1. the demonstrators are not peaceable; they are interfering with other people.
2. the demonstrators may be well educated in fields such as social studies, science, and math, but when it comes to the Constitution and the things that make this country tick, they don't have the faintest clue.

Musing of one munching shortbread and wondering if anybody ever tried to bake longbread...

Thanks for the comments including the one from Nick on email. When we made the previous posting, we thought that perhaps some members of the younger generations (and that includes about everybody) would feel impelled to delve into the background and history of the Constitution. In our own amateur analysis (we don't claim to be Constitutional scholars) we detected 3 goals of the Founding Fathers: 1. to establish a strong central government with limited powers 2. to promote individual freedom and to foster the efforts of all individuals in their legitimate pursuit of prosperity 3. to bring the people and government closer together (it's easier to deal with a state or local government than with a remote central government which is trying to deal with 300+ million people). Maybe we should have a Constitution party which would finally get big enough to throw everybody out and start over again.

Musing of one thinking about the New Orleans jazz musician who got extremely charged up and played a jazz piece so hot that his trumpet melted

We thought it would be interesting to look at what various words in the Constitution meant at the time it was written. So we obtained access to the 1979 Reprint of Samuel Johnson's Dictionary of the English Language (1755), which was the authority at that time. Then we selected some of the most frequently quoted provisions of the Constitution and selected some words in each to look up in the dictionary. The results of all this follow.

We selected the following items:
Article 1, Section 8. The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defense and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States; * * *
To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian tribes; * * *

Amendment I.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

We decided to look up the definitions of several words. These follow:

Regulate:
To adjust by rule or method, To direct

Establishment:
Settlement, fixed state
Confirmation or something already done, ratification
Settled regulation, form, model of a government or family foundation, fundamental principle, settled law
Allowance, income, salary

Provide:
To procure beforehand, to get ready, to prepare
To furnish, to supply with of or with before the things provided
To stipulate
To provide against
To take measures for counteracting or escaping any ill
To provide for, to take care of beforehand

Welfare:
Happiness, success, prosperity


Substituting definitions for the original word, we would have:
Article 1, Section 8.
---To procure beforehand OR get ready OR prepare OR furnish OR supply with of or with before the things provided OR stipulate OR provide against OR take measures for counteracting or escaping any ill OR provide for OR take care of beforehand for the common Defense and general Happiness OR success OR prosperity of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;

To adjust by rule or method OR To direct Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian tribes;

Amendment I.
Congress shall make no law respecting a Settlement OR fixed state OR confirmation or something already done OR ratification OR settled regulation, form, model of a government or family foundation OR fundamental principle OR settled law OR allowance OR income OR salary of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.


In our opinion, if that's what the words meant when the Constitution was written, then that's what they mean. And the only way to change that meaning would be by Constitutional amendment.

We move to wonder if courts ever consider this sort of thing when deciding questions of constitutionality.

Musing of one wondering what a medieval knight dressed in full armor did when his elbow started to itch.

We thought it would be interesting to review the evolution of telephone service as two old folks have experienced it. So here goes.

In a little town in the South where one half of the duo lived there were no dial telephones and push buttons hadn't been invented, but we were pretty advanced because we no longer had to go to a box on the wall and turn a crank. Generally, the phone consisted of a pedestal with a mouthpiece on top and a hook holding a receiver on the side. Both were wired into the wall. When you wanted to make a call you lifted the receiver and waited for a pleasant feminine voice (the voice with a smile) to say "number please." You would give her the number and she would connect you. Sometimes there were party lines shared by two or four families, which created all kinds of chaos with people trying to make calls on a line that was already in use, or listening to what other families on the party line were saying.

Long distance was somewhat more complicated. When asked for the number you said "long distance" and you would be connected to a long distance operator who would ask you for the city, state and number (incidentally there were no area codes). She would then connect you to another long distance operator at the destination and she in turn would connect you to the number. You had the option of telling the operator to reverse charges, in which case the amount would show on the receiving party's bill. I think it cost anywhere from $5.00-$8.00 a minute depending on the destination.

The other half of the duo lived in a large city with a sophisticated dialing system, so they could dial anywhere in their calling area, but if they had to call long distance you did so by using the dial to access the long distance operator. This happened fairly frequently because long distance could be between a city and its suburbs or even between areas in the city. In fact, sometimes long distance would be no more than five miles away from the caller's home. This was also very expensive.

If you were away from home and had an emergency you headed for a telephone booth and dialed the operator. These booths were scattered around the city, and usually you had to put a nickel in the slot to get the telephone to work (as an aside, the feminine half of the duo used to give the masculine half a nickel to carry in his pocket in case he had to make a call). This is the probably the origin of the expression "it's your nickel."

And so we progressed over the years to direct distance dialing, area codes, 911, push buttons, cordless phones, and cell phones. Quite an evolution.